Father’s Day is coming and right now I feel bombarded with information and messages that try to help us include or heal the masculinity and fatherhood in us.
Since the beginning of this era, the fact of honoring the feminine energy and empowering women is taking over. That includes questioning the patriarchal system and exposing the severity of many atrocious acts that no longer make sense, which is a great way to advance. But I think the balance has also gone to another extreme in another way, by leaving masculinities unprotected, in a war of extremes. Therefore, I see the importance of beginning to observe and allow ourselves to believe that we can be free to choose from where to explore and especially to be.
This transition has been very confusing for me since I like to look at humanity as a whole and from there it has been much easier for me to love and understand the other without so much judgment. But it is not always easy, especially when I see this eternal battle between us, be it the battle men vs women, women vs women, men vs men. No matter the subject, it is incredible to see how a thought, a subjective reason, can lead us to disagreement so much that we can create a war.
But going back to the theme of Father’s Day, for me it is a whole topic that I have put myself to work on. Because I truthfully consider that it is deeply important to have a healthy relationship with the father figure, as well as with my father and with the masculine side within me, It is key to how I develop with others, but especially with authority figures and the men with whom I interact in life.
For many years I have spent my life judging myself in a very severe and cruel way, for not wanting to accept that I came and grew up with “Daddy Issues”, but at the end of the day you don’t have to be Freud to diagnose it.
I think it is always much easier to go out into the world painting yourself as the great heroine in this case, than to make yourself known as the tragic victim, who had a difficult childhood, indeed the latter gave me terror and great shame to admit in front of others.
Nowadays something is changing, after these months and thanks to the pandemic, I have been able to make a better assessment of my being. I began to give space to everything that you do not want to see, that you do not want to feel, that you do not want to remember, all these emotions which are distractions that we somehow managed to turn off for a while. We accumulate emotions, negative feelings that we put in the dark, believing that with time they will disappear or go away on their own.
It has taken me a long time to begin to see the wounds that I have with my dad. Even now that I am writing this, I must confess that I am still in the process of healing to reach the point of having a healthy and complete relationship with him within me.
The fact of being able to integrate the man who gave me life into my life, for which I am already very grateful, is extremely important and necessary to me. But I still have many judgments, reproaches, angst, resentment and as long as all of this continues to exist within me, the more difficult it will be for me to see him with the eyes of my soul and be able to forgive him and accept him as he is, one more human who made the representation of my dad.
I think that nowadays I open much more easily to talk about these issues, because somehow, I feel that they are no longer taboo. In fact, within the expansive process of this era, one of the most important messages has been to look at ourselves, at our wounds that we carry since childhood and begin to repair with the tools that we have or that we are learning to construct. If we can do this, then we can stop the repetitive and sometimes destructive patterns that hold us back, and become more aware and complete, for ourselves and the good of all humanity.
I like to see this Father’s Day as an invitation to evaluate our relationship with the father and with the masculine within us.
I would also like to take this opportunity to congratulate all the dads in the world, EVERYONE!! The present ones, such as the ones who cannot be here, the strict ones, the kind ones, the ones who pay and seek the well-being and growth of their children, and the ones who seem that they don´t care but really do. I also congratulate these moms who are also dads and are extraordinary examples. And finally, I would like to congratulate the man who gave me life, for the lessons and because I know deep down that you did the best you could, wherever you are, I send you a big kiss.
Happy Father’s Day!!